Hey Snow White,

Lately we’ve come upon reports that you are actively engaged in discussions to reimburse those schmuck distributors/exhibitors for the massive loss incurred because of their ill-advised decision to pay a premium for your Kuselan crap-show.

Judas anna, by just focusing on distributors you are ignoring another constituency that fed you, nourished you and made you wealthy beyond all your wildest bus-conductor dreams. We mean your schmuck fans, of course. Yes, the dolts who think that Aayiram Jenmangal eduthalam, unnamadire actor kadaikamaatan.

Now, shouldn’t you be compensating your muttal fans too by refunding the ticket money for putting those poor souls through the torturous ordeal of sitting through this pathetic piece of shit a.k.a Kuselan.

Of course some of your fans showed you and Kuselan the middle finger and unnavachu comedy pannitannga.

What an irony that the kick you threatened Kannadigas landed on your munji (face). That will teach you to be careful before you go around threatening vodaikavenda.

But don’t be disheartened. After all, the relationship between you and your fans has been Ondu Premada Kathe for over 30 years now.

Hey Snow White, your fans even luved your blond-hair, fair-skinned mottai-boss look when you were cavorting with that younnnng Delhi girl in Sivaji.

Un Kannil Neer Vazhindal, your fans are ready to commit suicide. Do you want us to remind you of the fan who doused himself with kersosene and lit a match when you were going through a rough patch in your marriage with Lata. The poor fan perished. And you rose Phoenix-like from the ashes.

Even though you are a Padikkadavan, your less privileged and moronic fans believe that you are a Mahaguru whose heart is full of tender thoughts toward the downtrodden sections of society (like your fans, for instance).

It would be no exaggeration to say that for your dumb fans, you are a Iraivan Kodutha Varam.

Nay, for them you are the very incarnation of Arunachalam.

But little do your fans know that you’re a Kiladi Kittu, who speaks from both sides of your mouth.

Just look at the way how like a Pokiri Raja, you’ve managed to anger all sides in the Cauvery water dispute between your adopted state Tamil Nadu and your Thai Veedu Karnataka.

When Baba bombed, didn’t you take an asinine step and throw some crumbs to the idiot distributors to demonstrate that you are a generous Yejaman and not a mere Uzhaippali like your millions of fans.

OK, it’s time for you to stop dicking round and like a Thanga Magan you must refund the ticket money of fans for the agony you and your cronies inflicted on them in your Kuselan nightmare. Don’t just stop with the exhibitors in addressing losses. Go one step further.

If you return the ticket money to your fans, you will be remembered as the Baasha with a heart of gold and the Dharmadurai of Tamil movie industry. The Panakkaran, who is motivated beyond just panam (money).

Ninaithale Inikkum, illae?

Your fans will swear by Sri Raghavendra that you are the Rajathi Raja of Tamil movies even if you are a false prophet.

We have no doubts that you will heed the request of your fans including yours truly. After all, aren’t you the one who dazzled us with your statement: Nan idha kettu vela seyyala, idha kettu velai seyyaren. Now, lest you be tempted to take our message lightly, this is no Sahodarara Savaal but a Aadu Puli Attam.

Of course, if you are foolish enough to reject our refund request, there will be no Viduthalai for you and your fans will turn into Paayum Puli.

Need we remind you at all that your fans belong to one large Galate Samsara.

Be warned, this is a Dharma Yuddam from which there is no turning back. Ticket panam nammu veetaku varanam, illayaana ponum…Well, you know what Suman said in Sivaji.

When we receive our ticket money back, we’ll believe that you truly meant it when you said: En vazhi… thani vazhi.

As a nice, reciprocal gesture from our side, we will not ask you to compensate us for the lousy popcorn at Multiplex Cinemas (Towne Center) but please do remember to include the cost of soda ($3) and gas ($38, at $3.80 per gallon for 220 miles) along with the ticket money ($16) refund. If you do so, you will have earned the title of Nattukku Oru Nallavan. Not just Nallavanuku Nallavan.

Anbulla Rajinikanth, ippo En Ticket Refund Kelvikku Enna Bathil?

Ippadiki,
Unn Anbukku Naan Adimai,
Polladhavan

N.B: We apologize for heavy use of Tamil & some Kannada words in the above post.