Vaaranam Aayiram – Box Office Disaster
We are convinced Kollywood director Gautam Vasudev Menon must have really loathed his late father.
And Vaaranam Aayiram is Gautam Menon’s remorseless act of revenge on his old man for grievances, real or imagined.
How else can you explain this moron making an interminably long pathetic piece of shit a.k.a. Vaaranam Aayiram and then dedicating the nonsense to his dad.
There’s Forrest Gump and then there’s Cooum Dump oops Vaaranam Aayiram. (Just in case you are not from Tamil Nadu and happened to stumble upon this review, Cooum is that infamous stinking river in the state’s capital Chennai.)
Like director Robert Zemeckis in Forrest Gump, Gautam Menon sets off to tell the story of an ordinary man, actually two ordinary men here, father and son (both played by Surya) but unlike Zemeckis our Menon quickly falls flat on his face and just can’t get up for the rest of the movie.
Oh wait, lest he open himself to charges of stealing Forrest Gump outright, Menon’s thrown some new ingredients into the chamber-plot like bringing in the father angle and the so-called bond between father and son. All are given the amateurish treatment here unlike in that masterpiece Forrest Gump.
If you are the impatient, attention deficit disorder kind of guy demanding instant gratification, here’s a quick review summary of Vaaranam Aayiram - The story is less than gripping, Surya’s acting is so-so, the dialogs inanely banal, the songs soporifically dull and the dances, oh, they are straight from hell.
Bottomline: Boring shit. The audience at Movie City (Edison, NJ) didn’t seem too engrossed and there was constant chitchat and moving about in the hall.
And who do you think takes credit (should actually be discredit) for writing & directing this garbage – Gautam ‘inept’ Menon.
Given the shoddy story and screenplay of Vaaranam Aayiram, even Brando couldn’t have salvaged this trash.
As crude as Menon’s last film Pachaikili Muthucharam, Vaaranam Aayiram lacks the finesse that made Forrest Gump one of the classics of the movie business.
Vaaranam Aayiram begins with a very sick Krishnan (the father Surya) wheezing and panting laboriously and quickly kicking the bucket but not before vomiting the obligatory pint of blood (Menon, you think Tamil movie fans are such retards that they won’t be convinced someone’s really sick unless they see him puke blood on the bathroom floor?).
The news is quickly conveyed to the son Major Surya, who’s in an helicopter on a rescue mission.
The story is then narrated in flashback, going as far back as his father’s college days, and ends with the old man’s funeral but not before subjecting the audience to a sadistically tedious 2hr-45 minutes.
Surya the son is so-so except in some scenes where he completely fails to deliver the goods. For instance, when he’s in the hospital in the U.S. and when he’s in the phone booth talking to his parents, Surya is all at sea (a so-so Surya is infinitely better than our Ultimate non-Star Ajith). Surya is much better in the role of the father.
Also, the younger Surya’s descent into alcohol and drugs were crudely handled by Menon.
The train scene when the younger Surya first meets Sameera Reddy had some life and some interesting moments.
As long as she’s not required to say anything or move a step, that baby elephant Sameera Reddy is alright. Otherwise she bares her ugly fangs.
When Sameera Reddy tells Surya she’s in love with him, the dialog and scene had as much emotional intensity and feeling as a routine pass the ketchup request at the dinner table.
Simran and Divya Spandana didn’t do much damage.
Except for the Adiye Kolluthey song (ugly picturization though), music in Vaaranam Aayiram is forgettable.
Charging $15 for the Vaaranam Aayiram garbage is nothing short of robbery. To our previous characterization of Gautam Menon as a mediocre film-maker, we must now add the title of petty-thief.
If you have any respect for your hard-earned money, stay away from this plague called Vaaranam Aayiram. Life’s too short to be wasted on such crap.
P.S: Will Anil Ambani fix the disgrace of Phoenix Adlabs Movie City theatre in Edison (NJ). Those duffers at the theatre can’t run a movie without messing it up. They did it twice in Vaaranam Aayiram (the frames keep getting split up on the screen).
Related Stories:
Vaaranam Aayiram – Box Office Disaster
Why Just 15 Minutes? Cut 2 Hrs:45 Min of VA, Please
114 Responses to “Vaaranam Aayiram Review – Cooum Dump”
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Premji Amaran’s expression was actually a dig at Prabhu’s legendary expression in Chandramukhi..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEjwPVI5yFU&feature=related
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Yes, but Premji does it better.
adhellam enakku theriyadhu. ur writing about tamil film and it is not a tamil blog? sari sari it sucks
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Enna Koduma Sir Idhu (what agony)
yeah full credit to Premji (or Venkat Prabhu?) for making it so popular.. Prabhu’s was unintentionally funny.
no reviews of slumdog millionaire ? not yet seen?
SearchIndia.com Responds:
The movie is still in limited release…our nearest Slumdog Millionaire theatre is about 208 km away (roundtrip). Tired of driving…hence the delay.
We’ll see if we can do it this weekend.
[...] http://indiablogs.searchindia.com/2008/11/14/vaaranam-aayiram-review-cooum-dump/#more-1261 [...]
SearchIndia.com responds:
Ayyo, Vandatangapa Comedy Pasanga (here come the clowns).
Here’s an excerpt from the Comedy Pasanga a.k.a whimsicalwhining (please click on this comment headline for the full canard):
————
SearchIndia.com – Your unbiased source for Kollywood, Bollywood, Hollywood & soon-to-come Sandalwood Movie Reviews (Naa oru thadava sonna nooru thadava soonamadiri).
first of, this is india, this is a tamil movie… in this realm, u go watch a tamil movie, u DONT expect an oscar, so STOP comparing it with forest gump, we all love forest gump, but i assure u, tom hanks wud’n be able to appeal to tamil tastes… i mean ur comparin apples and oranges!!! how silly!!! and really, the way u went on a hate tirrade of VA… it seems ur really really negative, or very confused, or jus plain jobless… and yes now u’ll give a personal attack to my comment like all de others… but dude… pls, y be so damn negative?…i mean ur BAD and OFF THE MARK REVIEW is wat comes up wen we search goole for VA review!!!
ARE YOU GETTIN PAID TO PURPOSELY DEFAME DE MOVIE?!!!!
IT SEEMS SO!!!!
WAT EVER UR GOIN TO SAY AFR MY COMMENT,
VAARANAM AAYIRAM WAS ROCKING!! SURYA WAS EXCELLENT CONSIDERING HIS ACTING AND EVEN THE PHYSICAL TRAINING…
LOOK MAN, WEN WE GO FOR A TAMIL MOVIE, WE DON EXPECT OSCAR AWARDS… THIS WAS SIMPLY FUN TO WATCH, TOUCHING AND ALSO U COULD LEARN SOMETHING… I MEAN I LOVE GOOD ACTING AND FOREST GUMP N ALL…. BUT GOD MAN!!… DIS IS TAMIL FILM!!…
N IF UR SOOOOO F***** SMART… Y DON U DIRECT A FILM FOR all of us to be proud of ;-/
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write: first of…this is a tamil movie…
Need you even say that. Vaaranam Aayiram screams that point in every frame. Of course, this is a Tamil movie. What else can this piece of junk be?
2. You write: in this realm, u go watch a tamil movie, u DONT expect an oscar,
Is that a justification for making crappy movies or stealing outright as some swines do.
3. You write: it seems ur really really… jus plain jobless…
We are plain jobless?
a. You’ve registered three times on this blog using different user names. And we are plain jobless?
b. You are paying so much attention to reviews of jobless people that you are frothing at the mouth and resorting to a combination of lowercase and uppercase in a desperate bid to get your point across. And we are plain jobless?
c. You are so agitated with the review by jobless people that you have the time to first harangue us with your lowercase drivel, then go on to jump off the cliff with your wild uppercase charges that have any meaning only in the cobweb you confuse for your head and finally descend into that utter nonsense about learning something from VA. And we are plain jobless?
4. You write: ARE YOU GETTIN PAID TO PURPOSELY DEFAME DE MOVIE?!!!!
IT SEEMS SO!!!!
Either you are projecting your self on us or you were so badly gangbanged. Aren’t there any vets in your area that treat your kinda trauma?
5. You write: tom hanks wud’n be able to appeal to tamil tastes
Tamil Tastes? Now that’s a pithy definition for contradiction in terms.
And how would you know that Tom Hanks would not appeal to Tamil tastes?
6. You write: VAARANAM AAYIRAM WAS ROCKING!! SURYA WAS EXCELLENT CONSIDERING HIS ACTING AND EVEN THE PHYSICAL TRAINING…
Bet his shit smells sweet too. But how would we know that for sure…only you would.
“This whole concept of looking at various facets of a the life of an ordinary man over several decades is obviously inspired from Forrest Gump.
Some techniques like flashback, themes like destiny, army, elusive love (in both, the hero gets the girl after much effort but alas only for a short duration before she dies) … not only appear in both movies but are also very important.”
This is funny. Just bcos two movies have army, destiny and elusive love they are not the same. I also don’t remember how many movies look at the different facets of a person’s life in flashbacks… It makes more sense to compare the main message/theme in such cases..
To me VA talks about the role of a ordinary father in moulding a son’s character and supporting him in difficult times. Lot of people face problems in life. Many breakdown and few solve/recover and emerge successfully. If you have read the biographies of few successful people you would know that this is the underlying story for many people and everyone of them have been helped by some nice souls (like the father character in VA).
I am not sure whether you got an interesting message in FG. Unlike a novel a movie has several hidden messages. Every person takes whatever he is capable of perceiving. Tom Hanks does not have the intelligence to consider various options at various instants in his life. On the other hand, he is blessed with abundant determination and a pure heart. So he is persistent enough to follow his limited choices for a very long time and makes big impact in everything he does.
As you are reviewing more and more movies you have probably become very good in perceiving imperfections at microscopic levels, but lack the ability to see the more important underlying message….Some directors are perfectionists in every frame, whereas they lack an underlying message. Few others make minor mistakes occasionally, but they do deliver a masterpiece when you put together all the frames. This is probably the difference between Kamal and Mani as directors.
Please remember that everyone is different with different tastes. It is not good if bollywood becomes hollywood…International movies are far better then hollywood…Some of my favourites are “life is beautiful”, “amelie”, etc. A lot of people do read your reviews. Rather than watching a movie and writing the review on your blackberry while coming back from the theatre…please do spend some time and talk to few people before your write something. As a reviewer it is important to convey the general feeling about a movie rather than a single person’s viewpoint…
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Let’s start from the end of your comment.
1. You write above: please do spend some time and talk to few people before your write something. As a reviewer it is important to convey the general feeling about a movie rather than a single person’s viewpoint…
We are not doing reviews by commitee here. If we were to consult every Ram, Ravan or Hanuman before penning a review, we’d never get anything written. At the end of the day, the review is our unique perspective on the movie just like your above comment is your take on our review.
That said, we do take into account general suggestions and feedback (like your comments and those of others) as we do future reviews.
And what the hell does this gibberish phrase general feeling about a movie mean? Means nothing to us unless you want us to wait for the box office response/data and then do a review. After all, box office response is supposed to represent the general feeling about a movie. Right?
2. Vaaranam Aayiram was clearly inspired by Forrest Gump. You might want to do further research on this.
Forrest Gump is as close to perfection as you can possibly get in a movie. Vaaranam Aayiram was nowhere close. It was hopelessly crude.
3. Whether at the microscopic level to use your terminology or at the big picture message level, Vaaranam Aayiram didn’t leave much of an impression on us.
4. You write: Rather than watching a movie and writing the review on your blackberry
Actually, we use an iPhone 3G. No, we don’t write reviews on the iPhone 3G (try doing it) although we do process short comments on it once in a while.
5. You write: Please remember that everyone is different with different tastes. It is not good if bollywood becomes hollywood…International movies are far better then hollywood…
Yeah, yeah different people, different tastes. But that’s not the issue here.
The issue is that most movies coming out of India (including Vaaranam Aayiram) are junk and often stolen like Saroja or Ghajini.
I completely agree with you on one thing. It is disgusting to see that someone who claims to be a director can not come with a single script which is novel and nice. Most directors are taking easier options because either they are not creative enough or do not have confidence in their stories…even kaakha kaakha and Anniyan (which according to me is a crap one) stole bits and pieces from Seven.
On the other hand, not everyone has the time and money to watch every movie released in every other language. Once in a while, remaking and inspirations should be allowed but in a more legal manner. After all we do accept screenplays from books, although not a single movie I have seen has done justice to the source.
Hey SI, I happened to see VA yesterday on youtube.. got to say I agree with you a bit. Surya as the father was much much better than the son… The movie dragged in some places but overall I felt that the movie was watchable once… It was different from the regular trash.. I’m tryin to get the DVD of Forrest Gump to compare the two.. I’ve heard my 4nds sayin FG was infinitely better than all Indian movies put together.. Just wanna see that for myself.. n BTW guyz.. can i expect a review of Ayutha Ezhuthu (starring Surya,Siddharth and Madhavan) from you..??
SearchIndia.com Responds:
1. You write above: I’ve heard my 4nds sayin FG was infinitely better than all Indian movies put together..
Your friends are right. Forrest Gump is a masterpiece.
2. You write: can i expect a review of Ayutha Ezhuthu
We’ll watch it for sure in the next 10 days…not sure about review because of the backlog.
You write: [i]We’ll watch it for sure in the next 10 days…not sure about review because of the backlog.[/i]
That’s ok. But do tell me how u found the movie to be
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Will do.
Holy, I dont think Ive seen so much of venom in any of your other review comments! I cant believe users actually go to the extent of bad mouthing you in their web page!
As far as I know, and heard from friends, VA is an average movie, nothing spectacular; I know I cant really comment since I havent seen it, but then, I know it’s not worth spilling heaps of abuse here! I can understand people’s wrath if you had written a bad review on Forrest Gump, but…
I dint know how to complete the sentence, so I stopped it midway
SearchIndia.com Responds:
You write above: I cant believe users actually go to the extent of bad mouthing you in their web page!
Oh, it doesn’t stop with just bad-mouthing us in the comments section – The clowns have engaged in repeated, massive attack on our servers.
gautham’s never made a gud movie after kaaka kaaka. minnale was bearable. vetaiyadu vilayudu had too many impractical ‘ragavan instincts’ to watch. varanam ayiram is the worst. pathetic. it neither portrays a great father, nor a dedicated son. just a completly stupid set of parents (how else would you call a couple who send their drug-addict son off on a tour saying ‘nee poi ellathayum vitutu va. ennoda payyana va’) who give the most unfit advice and an equally stupid wayward son.
this fellow (surya) has got the filmfare award for this movie , what a shit this movie was .
SearchIndia.com Responds:
For the most part, awards in India have no meaning.
Amitabh Bachchan got the National award for that pathetic piece of shit Agneepath, Aishwarya Rai got a Padma Shri for looking beautiful and surely that Bollywood gofer Abhishek ‘Drona‘ Bachchan will get the Bharat Ratna
Gautam Menon.. his pretensions that VA is a “class” movie makes me hate it more than a blatantly “crass” movie.. cooum dump is a good description.. sorry that I doubted you SI.
I bailed out after the first half of DVD.. I was hoping that the battered expectations may help – so I actually had expectations better than “battered” – but didn’t.
SearchIndia.com Responds:
Here’re some nice images of the VA gal to keep you occupied.
The VA gal may not be endowed with good acting skills but none can doubt that she’s well endowed.
The Lord of the Seven Hills has been ‘bountiful’ in his blessings of this Reddy ammayi’s (girl) twin hills.