No surprise. No surprise.
Khatta Meetah has fared badly at the U.K. box office too.
Khatta Meetha’s opening weekend gross of £124,104 is worse than Akshay Kumar’s earlier movies like Singh is Kinng, De Dana Dan, Kambakkht Ishq, Chandni Chowk to China, Housefull and even Blue.
Akshay Kumar’s Stock Falls
See for yourself in the below table how Khatta Meetha has fared compared to some recent Bollywood films as well as some of Akshay Kumar’s earlier moves:
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Trisha is Trash in Khatta Meetha, Say Critics & Audience
You know in the not-too-distant past the Samurai folks in Japan used to handle shame very well.
They’d get a ritual sword, plunge it deep into their stomachs and scoop out their entrails. If that gruesome act didn’t prove effective, they’d take the knife and cut their throat.
Death was probably extremely painful but the act was cleansing too.
Restored some measure of honor to the person.
Harakiri, they called it.
If any two actors in Bollywood are worthy candidates for harakiri, it’s Akshay Kumar and Trisha Krishnan.
Together, these shameless monstrosities have repeatedly inflicted torture on movie-goers in callous, reckless disregard to the shame of their mortifying behavior.
Individually, each is a Marquis de Sade. Together, they can only be a hybrid of Ivan the Terrible and Pol Pot.
After seeing the almost-universal scorn and ridicule shoveled on this movie by critics, we wisely refrained from watching it although we’ve seen several other films featuring the two stars separately.
Disaster but No Surprise
So, schmucks is it any surprise at all that when these two freaks unite under the aegis of Bollywood, the end-result is a malformed fetus called Khatta Meetha with its bloody placenta strangling the newborn.
Folks, Khatta Meetha is a disaster like few others.
Katrinaesque in scope and impact, the movie is a calamity at the box-office. The U.S. box office, that is.
Even junk like Dil Bole Hadippa, Raavan and Veer have fared better at the box office.
Here, see for yourself in the below table the pile of shit that Akshay Kumar, Trisha and Khatta Meetha director Priyadashan have heaped upon themselves:
Can it get any worse?
Now, don’t you rush to the keyboard to type out a response because that was a rhetorical question.
Now, if only someone could explain the technique of harakiri to these two yokels Akshay and Trisha.
With Khatta Meetha touching the box-office nadir, do you think Akshay Kumar still has life in him or is he a spent force in Bollywood.
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Readers of this fine blog have always known that Tamil ‘actress’ Trisha Krishnan is the most worthless thing when it comes to delivering the acting goods.
Total garbage. The woman can’t emote if her life depended on it.
But Bollywood critics are just realizing what a lot of South Indians and SI readers have long known – Trisha is Trash, if you are talking movies.
Here’s what the critics had to say on Trisha’s Bollywood debut via Khatta Meetha:
IndiaTimes:
Trisha has nothing notable to deliver in her Bollywood debut.
IndiaFM:
Rediff:
His co-star Trisha, however, fails to stand up to Akshay.
DNA:
The director appears confused what his heroine should be: a girl-next-door or a fiery municipal commissioner. Newcomer Trisha fails on both counts.
Some Members of the Audience (Source: IBNLive):
Bhavik Vora: [H]er pairing with Akshay does not look very great. Her acting is not very good and her face shows no emotion.
Gaurang Aggarwal: She didn’t act well. She couldn’t stand up to Akshay’s on-screen energy. I think Urvashi would have been a better choice opposite Akshay.
Avinash Shetty: I was disappointed by her performance. She was ordinary and there was nothing special about her.
How this utterly incompetent starlet gets to feature in movie after movie is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma (Thank you, Churchill). 
No surprise that Indian films are considered a joke in the West.
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Khatta Meetha Box Office: Disaster, Big Disaster
What happens when Bollywood’s buffoon-king Akshay Kumar meets Kollywood’s bimbette-queen Trisha Krishnan?
According to critics, the answer is foul-smelling garbage.
Indian movie critics have lashed out at Khatta Meetha, the new Bollywood film featuring Akshay Kumar and South Indian starlet Trisha Krishnan.
Here’s a sample of unflattering reviews for Khatta Meetha directed by Priyadarshan:
India Times
Khatta Meetha lacks wit and sarcasm and by no means can be termed as a political satire. Rather it’s a blatant and full-blown melodramatic tale of corruption that one has witnessed in zillion films before. The writing branches into too many subplots from politics, family, romance but seems disjoint rather than appearing multifaceted. The family characterizations of a powerless patriarch (Kulbhushan Kharbanda), scheming siblings and the ridiculed younger son protagonist (Akshay Kumar) are quite reminiscent of Anil Kapoor’s Saaheb (1985).
Akshay Kumar continues his buffoonery which is not much to speak about. Trisha has nothing notable to deliver in her Bollywood debut. None of the countless character artists are worth a mention.
Remind us never to be sober while watching a Bollywood film.
One needs to be sufficiently fortified with Bacchus to be able to endure the ordeal of a Hindi film.
Old or new movie, it matters little.
The other day we watched Dharmatma (1975), the first of several instances of Bollywood purloining the Godfather for the benefit of the Indian schmucks.
And the Verdict?
What can we say?
Hideously awful would be an understatement to describe this Bollywood perversion.
Surely, it must be an act of divine providence that we survived this intensely painful ordeal.
The principal sadist behind Dharmatma was the late Feroz Khan (of Qurbani fame), who besides aborting this malformed, ill-begotten fetus, as producer and director, also starred in it.
Filmed mainly in Afghanistan when the benighted land still had some semblance of a government, Dharmatma has yesteryear star Prem Nath donning the role of the crime lord, Feroz Khan as his honorable, and natürlich, estranged son and Hema Malini as the colorfully-costumed Afghan gypsy girl.
Imtiaz Khan, Jeevan, Ranjeet, Sudhir, Rekha, Madan Puri and Farida Jalal round out the rest of the cast.
Both Hema Malini and Rekha play Feroz’s love interests in this asinine copy of the Godfather.
Almost everything about the movie screams amateur – the Indianized story, the acting, costumes, the dances, stunts et al.
As these tired hands pilot the leaking, creaking man-of-war to its final moorings amid the ceaseless din and drivel around us, music and Bacchus are among the few solaces left to us.
Here are a few tracks (both Indian and foreign) we’ve acquired lately, mostly from iTunes.
* Kandathai Sollugiren (Tamil) – A classic song from the Srikanth, Lakshmi, Nagesh film Sila Nerangalil Sila Manithargal (1977).
This most-likely forgotten song is among our Top-5 Tamil favorites.
Yes, we’ve seen this fine film. Was this Lakshmi’s finest performance ever?
If we remember right, this song was picturized on Nagesh sitting on a bench with pieces of paper floating around.
Mellisai Mannar (The King of Light Music) M.S.Viswanathan is the singer and music director of this gem.
What a shame that in the current euphoria over A.R.Rehman, we’ve forgotten yesteryear giants like M.S.Viswanathan.
* Bekarar Kar Ke Hamen Yun Na (Hindi) – Sung by Hemant Kumar, this amazing number is from the 1962 blockbuster Bees Saal Baad featuring the handsome Biswajeet and Waheda Rehman.
We grew up listening to this song. In our first innings, we relied on radio and later on cassette tape for this classic. Now, in the final innings we’ve returned to this melodious piece in digital format.
You can enjoy this lovely song on YouTube here. Isn’t Waheeda Rehman prettier than an angel?
Hey, what do you take us for. Of course, we picked up Kahin Deep Jale Kahin (Lata Mangeshkar) as well from the same movie. Need you even ask.
* One of the best CD sets we’ve purchased in recent years is Ennio Morricone: 50 Movie Theme Hits (3-CDs).
For fans of Morricone, this CD set is an embarras de richesse containing themes from some of the famous movies ever – Films like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, For a few Dollars More, Cinema Paradiso, Once Upon a Time in the West as well as lesser-know films like Lydia, Scusi, facciamo l’amore? (Listen, Let’s Make Love) and Il Trio Infernale (The Infernal Trio). We got it at Border’s for about $16 after a 40% off coupon.
* Le Infernal Trio – A chilling Morricone piece from the 1974 French crime movie featuring Michel Piccoli, the ethereally beautiful Romy Schneider and Mascha Gonska.
Listening to this work of art, you sense strange and bad things are happening. To whet your appetite for the CD, we’ve provided a link to this haunting piece on YouTube. By the way, the movie was quite controversial in its day. Alas, the lovely lady Romy Schneider is no longer with us.
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