Ponal Pogattum Poda,
Ponal Pogattum Poda,
Indha Bhoomiyil Nilaiyaay Vaazhndhavar Yaaradaa?
Ponal Pogattum Poda
(Source: Palum Pazhamum)
Don’t be surprised if you see Tamil Film Walker oops movie star Ajith a.k.a Thala wearing a funereal expression, singing a dirge and out in the market shopping for a long rope.
A thickkk, looong rope for our Thala.
You get the point, right.
Nah?
Madayan, Ajith’s latest piece of shit Asal has kissed the dust. The box office dust, that is.
Oh, if you are the finicky, nitpicking kind and insist on specifics, we’re talking UK box office here.
Yes, the box office numbers are out and they yield nothing but ignominy for Ajith, the ghost who walks!
Here are the embarrassing facts for Thala:
* Asal has fared worse than Kanthaswamy (Vikram)
* Asal has fared worse than Aadhavan (Surya)
* Asal has fared worse than Vettaikaran (Vijay)
Stop fretting, Thala. You can still pit yourself against the eli kunjis (baby mice) of Kollywood like Simbhu, Vombhu, Kombhu et al and maybe, just maybe, come up tops.
Well, you are no longer in the 2nd tier of Kollywood and your peers now are Vishal, Trisha, Simbhu, Jeyam Ravi, Jeeva et al.
That’s the way the cookie crumbles.
Unimpressive Thala
In the opening weekend (February 5-7, 2010), Asal came in at No-19 at the U.K. box office.
The movie grossed a mere £38,809 in the opening weekend. Not in the least impressive.
Asal’s average gross was lower than Kanthaswamy, Aadhavan and even that nightmare Kuruvi but slightly higher than Vijay’s recent Vettaikaran.
Here’s how Asal fared at the UK box office compared to a few prominent Tamil movies at the UK box office:
By the way, here’s an excerpt from the review of Asal published on the SearchIndia.com blog:
The story itself, despite having that flogged-to-death look about it, could have still been made into a good film had it not been subject to Tamil filmdom’s peculiarities.
(by SI blog reader Racer44)
Asal Box Office – Asingam, Romba Asingam
Asal’s director Saran seems to have taken a few notes from Ajith’s last hit film Billa.
Note 1: A large segment of the audience isn’t bothered about such trivialities like story, screenplay and acting.
Note 2: There’s something mysteriously profound about seeing Thala (Ajith, for all you schmucks) walk back and forth
Note 3: Without designer sun-glasses, Ajith looks like an ass (some say he looks like an ass even with them but let’s be charitable)
Note 4: When the right background score, camera angles and innovative hero-entrances converge, even a tharuthala (good-for-nothing) like Ajith can be shown to be The Thala.
Billa Sequel
Asal is, in spirit, Billa’s sequel.
It is slicker and more stylish, but still does not unduly tax the viewer’s intellect. But thankfully Saran has gotten hold of a more plausible story and infused a bit more logic into the proceedings which is why Asal does not inflict as much damage upon your senses as Billa did.
The story runs along these lines: Jeevanandam (Ajith with white hair, beard) is an international arms dealer based in Paris who sells weapons exclusively to governments around the world. He has three sons: Sam (Sampath Raj) and Vicky (Rajiv Krishna) of his first wife and Shiva (Ajith with black hair, beard) of his mistress.
Sam and Vicky resent Shiva’s presence in their household, and his apparent closeness with their father. When the two elder sons bring to Father Ajith’s attention a lucrative business deal that could be had with a terrorist arms supplier, both senior as well as junior Thalas put their foot down, citing ethical reasons(!!!). So the two elder sons, along with their maternal uncle (Pradeep Rawat), connive to kill father Ajith and cover it up as a natural death. Upon daddy’s death the brothers find that their old man has bequeathed almost all his wealth to Shiva.
Incensed, they hide this information from Shiva while simultaneously taunting and belittling him on the nature of his birth, so that he feels unwelcome in their midst and parts with whatever money and belongings he possesses. Just when they finish investing that money into the contract, Vicky is kidnapped by a rival arms dealer (Brijesh Shetty played by Kelly Dorji) from India who stands to lose if the deal between the terrorists and the brothers comes into effect.
The rest of the film is about how Thala rescues his half-brother from the clutches of Shetty, how he is betrayed by his ungrateful brothers and how, eventually, Thala takes his revenge and vanquishes his foes.
Flogged to Death
The story itself, despite having that flogged-to-death look about it, could have still been made into a good film had it not been subject to Tamil filmdom’s peculiarities.
The need to have half-a-dozen villains so that the hero can be shown more powerful, the requirement to have at least two heroines to offer viewers some eye-candy, the obligatory 5-songs-5-fights routine (which sticks out like a sore thumb here) and an entirely unnecessary and irritating comedy track; all these collude to make the film as unwatchable as possible.
Folks, Tamil Padam is coming to the U.S. this Friday.
Wonder why the schmucks are releasing the movie a week later here. We won’t be surprised in the least if the Indian grocery/DVD stores are already renting out the DVD.
Be that as it may, the movie has won decent reviews as the first Tamil spoof film.
Here are the showtimes for Tamil Padam movie in USA:
Tamil Padam Movie Showtimes in Bay Area
San Jose, CA
IMC 6 – Read Tamil Padam Review Here
1433 The Alameda
San Jose, CA 95126
Ph: 408-293-5034
Feb 05| 3:00 PM|6:00 PM|9:00 PM
Feb 06|12:00 PM|3:00 PM|6:00 PM|9:00 PM
Feb 07|12:00 PM|3:00 PM|6:00 PM|9:00 PM
Feb 08| 2:00 PM|5:00 PM|8:15 PM
Feb 09| 2:00 PM|5:00 PM|8:15 PM
Feb 10| 2:00 PM|5:00 PM|8:15 PM
Feb 11| 6:00 PM
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Tamil Padam Movie Showtimes in Boston
Boston, MA
Entertainment Cinemas - Read Tamil Padam Review Here
168 Alewife Brook Parkway
Cambridge, MA 02138
Ph: 617-661-2900
Feb 06|4:00 PM|6:45 PM
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Tamil Padam Movie Showtimes in Connecticut
Bloomfield, CT
(by SI blog reader Racer44)
Well folks, a spoof movie (that is, a proper one, not a bits-and-pieces-spoof, most-parts-torture movie like Goa) finally makes its way to Tamil cinema.
To some, that ought to be reason enough to go watch this film. And I wouldn’t stand in their way.
Compared to the unwatchable tripe trotted out by so-called “commercial” directors, which are masqueraded as Tamil films, Tamil Padam is miles ahead.
But if you are looking for some serious spoof (pun intended) of the quality of, say, “airplane!”, I’m afraid you will be sorely disappointed.
One reason for this is that debutant director C.S.Amudhan has chosen to spoof not merely typical masala movies, but just about every single megahit Tamil movie that an average Tamil movie buff can recall fondly, ranging from Mouna Raagam to Kaakha Kaakha.
Surfeit of Gags But Few LOL Moments
The story itself is absurdly simple: an old lady (Paravai Muniamma), along with her new-born grandson, set forth from a village named “Cinemapatti” to Chennai to escape the wrath of the village head who, in a comically bizarre decision, decrees that all baby boys born in the village be killed with kalli paal (poisoned milk).
The old woman is also motivated by the newborn’s promise to make a name for himself as a big hero if she spares his life. The events that follow upon their arrival in Chennai and whether the promise is made good form the rest of the story.
The film begins well, with a few neatly aimed potshots at memorable characters like Sarathkumar from “Nattamai“, and Simbhu from “Kuthu“.
Beginning from the scene where the hero, as a small boy, pedals furiously on a locked bicycle and gets transformed into a twenty-something young man,till the ones spoofing such old classics as Baasha, Thalapathi and Nayagan and a few recent duds like “Kanthaswamy“, the film runs along pretty smoothly. The highlight of this segment is the “Pacha Manjal” song which superbly parodies the concept of “build-up” songs.
Alas, the rest of this film is not so smooth.
Sick shit.
That humans in this day and age can put forth garbage like Goa and dare call it a movie boggles the mind.
Folks, of all the Tamil movies we’ve seen in the last five years Goa is the vilest trash of ‘em all.
Before the might of this Goa sewage tsunami, Kuruvi, Villu, Sathyam, Aadhavan, Thoranai et al pale into insignificance.
Goa is a movie that heaps disgrace on the entire Tamil movie industry.
From 4:08PM to 6:57PM (except, mercifully for the 10-minute interval) at MovieShitty in Edison NJ it was a lengthy torture ordeal the likes of which even Stalin’s minions did not inflict on their victims in the cold cellars of the Lubyanka.
Everything is Wrong
Schmuck, ask not what’s wrong with this movie.
Au contraire, ask if there are any redeeming elements at all in Goa.
Ask why in the age of Avatar and Sherlock Holmes and Kaminey trashy films like Goa see the light of the day.
Alas, except for the brief intermission there was not a moment’s respite in the nonsense on the screen.
Clown Prince Behind Goa
The architect of this diabolical misadventure, mind-numbing sophomoric drivel, embarrassing juvenilia is Venkat Prabhu, the clown prince of Kollywood and the bozo at the vanguard of the new wave of crappy Tamil films.
Venkat Prabhu takes (dis)credit for the story, screenplay, dialogs and finally (mis)direction.
* Like a lot of stupid Tamil films, Goa one too begins with a song in the fields abutting a village.
* Like a lot of crappy Tamil films, Goa too is obsessed with love above all.
* Like a lot of bad-ass Tamil films, Goa too inflicts horrible noise and calls it music.
* Like a lot of disgusting Tamil films, Goa too has no story to speak of.
* Like a lot of pathetic Tamil films, Goa too showcases poor acting.
You get the idea, eh?
Three friends (Premji Amaran, Vaibhav Reddy and Jai) in a village, youngsters with raging hormones, strict parents and tired of life in the rural setting, vamoose to Goa – after a pit stop at Madurai – in fond hopes of finding a pretty White girl to marry and then settle abroad.
If you think that’s a pretty weak and lame foundation for a movie what follows after the youths’ arrival in Goa is even worse. The rickety scaffolding just collapses leaving the audience to run for cover from the mayhem unfolding on the screen.
Tamil film superstar Rajinikanth’s daughter Soundarya Rajinikanth’s first baby has turned out to be a ugly, deformed, grotesque freak-show.
The kind of misbegotten orphan you’d want to abandon on the doorsteps of a church.
Folks, Soundarya Rajinikanth’s Ocher Picture Productions’ first baby movie Goa is a pathetic piece of shit.
An abomination, the likes of which are not seen even in the Augean Stables of Kollywood, Goa is what happens when little girls play with toys unsuited to their mental age.
Some movie critics have come down harshly on Goa, which was released today here on the East Coast and in India.
Here’s what a sample of critics had to say on the movie:
Sify:
[I]t’s an excruciatingly predictable fare with no story and at 2 hours and 45 minutes, it’s a laboriously long, and truly a test of your patience. The humour is ordinary and frankly, there is not even a single scene that makes you smile.
SearchIndia.com:
The movie is a ceaseless affront to all notions of taste and utterly without merit.
If Goa sends any message, it’s the pointer to the confederacy of dunces at the helm of the movie business in Tamil Nadu.
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